Yellow snow comes in many flavours
Swiss chocolate increases your libido
I've had limited success with penal enlargement emails
Colonoscopies make for poor dinner-table talk
But reclusive alcoholics make for good writers
Howard Hughes wore Kleenex boxes on his feet
Cottonelle doesn't come in my size
Holden Caulfield did not shoot John Lennon or Ronald Reagan
But he may have been in on the hits
On the third day, Elvis rose from the dead
He's since been spotted on a farm in Kentucky
It would appear as though Colonel Sanders was the illegitimate love child of Mark Twain and Maggie Thatcher
Rabbits don't lay chocolate eggs
Neither did Jesus
Christmas celebrates the birth of Santa Claus
When a stranger asks you to sit on his knee
You should probably take his candy and run
The Queen Mother enjoyed scotch on the rocks
Pickled prunes keep you regular
Monkeys should never mate with goats
For their offspring is often a goat faced primate with hooves for paws and an affliction for bananas
Napoleon was a short bald man
So is Danny DeVito
It's a little known fact that Mao may have wet the bed in his old age
And that people often faint at the site of David's penis
Michelangelo had an eye for testicles
The kingdoms of Europe should be mindful of Danny DeVito