Yankee Doodle went to Kansas riding on a goat
Clicking your heels can damage your shoes
But it won't lead you home
Scarecrows wouldn't be so scary if they didn't wear flannel
Lumberjack accidents are unfortunate
Plaster casts irritate the foreskin
But peanut butter does not
Mr. Peanut was an elegant dresser
The Pillsbury Doughboy was a slob
Belly buttons smell a lot like vinegar and feet
Sasquatches have been known to snatch pies from window sills
Hemingway used to pound his chest and roar into the Parisian sky
Ewoks don't wear underwear
Neither do celebrities at the Oscars
If you lived in a garbage can and had a hand up your ass all day, you'd be grouchy too
Ms. Piggy was a skank
Kermit was a prude
Hugh Hefner is a gentle lover
Martha Stewart likes to bite
Donald Trump wears his hair to bed
Comb overs are a wildlife hazard
So is currying kittens
Tweety deserved to be barbequed
Porky Pig was arguably retarded
Acme explosives couldn't stop the Roadrunner
I don't believe in neutrons
To properly reproduce Kim Jung Il's hairstyle
Simply place your penis in a light socket and belt out a war cry
Cowabunga does not refer to a constipated bull
Powdered milk may come from dehydrated cows
Rodeo clowns are only funny when they're being skewered
Never wear white when eating a kabob
The Trojans didn't wear condoms
Apparently, neither did your parents
We all make mistakes