Kelp!
- Just before their demise in a deep fryer, four mop-topped Sea Monkeys start a band.

Hey ‘Lude
- A Peter Doherty/Kate Moss duet honouring Elvis’s last days.

In My Tripe
- Mmm… memories of British cuisine.

And I Gloved Her
- A first baseman’s first love.

The Ballad of Fawn and Yoko
- Yoko Ono spends time in a forest; Nature’s harmony is disrupted.
(Note: Parental Advisory)

You Better Lose That Merle
- Advice for a daughter dating a guy named Merle.

The Blight Before
- Farmers reminisce the bad times.

Here Comes the Bun
- Ebay Exclusive: George Harrison's (secret) all-beef hotdog stand!

Crisps and Shout
- Six bags of potato chips and a coronary.

The Fools on the Pill
- The Pope gets a laugh on karaoke night.

I’m So Hired
- Excerpt from Monica Lewinsky’s diary (the early days).

Rocky Buffoon
- Rocky vs. Hello Kitty (3-D, Scratch ‘n Sniff)

This Goy
- For broken hearted gentiles.

Ticket to Hide
- It’s true, I bought a Céline Dion ticket. ‘O, the shame!