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   As a self-proclaimed snack enthusiast I am deeply concerned about claims that Saddam Hussein enjoys Doritos. Knowing that a monster enjoys your delicious brand of cheese flavored corn chips makes me sick to my stomach. For you see, Doritos represent peace, liberty, and the American way of life. Upon hearing about Hussein’s snacking tendencies, I researched the habits of several other contemporary despots and was dismayed to learn that Osama Bin Laden gorges on Twinkies and Kim Jong Il is addicted to Big League Chew. I trust that Frito Lay is doing everything within its power to end this public relations nightmare ASAP otherwise I will be forced to boycott your products indefinitely. Please be aware that I have already informed Hostess and Wrigley of my intentions to stay away from their scrumptious foodstuffs as well. |
